Make a pact with yourself.

This morning while drinking my morning cup of tea I had one of those realisations that I always knew but hadn't totally formed into a nice neat awareness until that moment. It's about what I call 'making a pact with myself'. I've done this a few times in my life and on reflection it's made decision making easy, and the results of that decision satisfying. 

Pacts I have made include giving up smoking when I decided to have children - and promising myself that I would never smoke in front of them. This isn't unusual I know, however in moments of temptation the pact helped me to resist.

 I also made a pact not to constantly complain about my children when they became teenagers - as I so often heard other parents do. This isn't always easy to stick to - however it has really helped me to shift my perception and to always begin from a positive place. 

My favourite pact with myself is my promise to be at as many of my children's performances, school events and important occasions and moments as possible. I made this pact after I had breast cancer (the first time) when my desire to be there for my kids was really heightened. Now 9 years later this is still a priority for me and each event gives me reason for a little celebration with myself - I'm still here!! 

The thing about the pact is that faced with a decision or choice about what to do or if I have time to go - the decision is easy, actually I've already made it by commiting to my pact. Ill be there for my kids and this is something ill never regret. 

This pact has influenced some big decisions and life choices, particularly around my work and subsequently the amount of money I earn (not that much - but enough!). Time and presence always beat money in my book.

This may not sound all that enlightened but for me who finds it hard to make decisions, making a pact gives me real freedom. For those of you who also struggle with decision making you'll know how much mental energy it can take up. Even deciding what to cook for dinner can be exhausting for me on a bad day! 

I have this card from www.cecily.co.nz on my kitchen wall right next to my kettle. 

I guess making a pact is a bit like committing to follow the rules of a club, or even spiritual teachings or a religion. These things give you structure and perhaps moral and ethical guidance. Every thing we do is the result of a choice and having some clear guidelines is essential. On the other hand I do believe that there are always many ways to consider a situation, and points of view to respect, hence my slow decision making. There are however some things that are personally not negotiable and in these instances having a pact with myself is comforting and gives me strength to make the decision that is best for me.

 I wonder if you have made any pacts with yourself? Do you think it's a helpful strategy?